My love goes free, Jon Foreman

If you love her, let her go.

Luke 11:33

"No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light."-Jesus Christ

l-o-v-e and l-i-k-e

The past few months, my class has been fascinated with the fact that I am not married. I usually shrug it off and change the subject. This week after repeated attempts at the, "why aren't you married convo?" by a fiesty little girl, I gave in.

"I'm not married because I don't want to be, yet."-Miss Heath
"WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE!!???!"-Fiesty
"People get married when they are in love with someone they want to marry and that person loves them and wants to marry them too."-Miss Heath
"Ew ew ew ew!(heheh *giggling*)and then you kissy!"-Fiesty
"ha!"-Miss Heath
"It's not ew! It's special! Miss Heath, that is so special."-Precious little girl
"I agree. I think it's very special too"-Miss Heath

:)

and because I am just a sap... I came home tonight and finished watching Away We Go. So brilliant. Their love is special, and I love love love the way he looks at her. It spurred my thinking. I don't have, nor do I want to have, a list of what I'm looking for. I believe love happens. However, there are certain details that I find very beautiful about the way a man treats a woman he loves. Here's that list: ;)
1.When he stares into her eyes as though her entire being is within them.
2.When he calls her pretty or beautiful (not hot).
3.When he teases her.
4.The way he holds her when he doesn't now how to fix something for her.
5.The way he rolls his eyes when she won't stop talking and beams when she realizes she is talking to much.
6.The way he calls her out on all her crap because he knows she is a better person than she is displaying.
7.The way he isn't afraid to be himself and vulnerable no matter what he's going through.
8. When he remembers the smallest details of things that were so close to her heart.
9.When he creates something for her.
10.When he wants to be better for himself and her.
11. When he talks to God about her.
12.The ultimate test of love: when he agrees to watch chick flicks with her! :)

Dandelion

Monday morning I walked through the halls and outside building D with a gaggle of wide eyed, energetic 6 year olds trailing behind. We stopped just before the library doors as their shouts of excitement and joy caught my attention. They had spotted a group of dandelions in the grass. They begged for me to allow them to run over and pick the group of weeds. We had more important things to do and a schedule to follow. I said no. I didn't have time for anything extra today. Their dissapointment was obvious. We filed into the library with hands behind our backs and a bubble in our mouth. We rushed to check out our new text books and gathered together in another single file line to hurry to art, music and P.E. As we stepped onto the sidewalk they were so excited to see that the dandelions were still present. They begged me to pick the weeds. A girl shouted, "Please Miss Heath! It is your favorite flower! Don't you want to have it?!". She was right. I looked around to make sure no staff was looking as I walked quickly to the grass and picked a single dandelion. "YAYAY! ooo! It's so pretty!Can I see it!" They squealed with enjoyment. "I will hold onto it and we will take a look at it after Specials" I said. "Show me how 1st graders walk in line". They filed back into their (semi) quiet line as we trekked to Specials. One by one they placed their books in the book bin and tried to sneak a peak at the dandelion in my hand. I walked them to their teachers and said goodbye as I gripped the dandelion in a way that no one could see me carrying it. After all, I didn't want anyone to think my class walks around and picks flowers all day. That's not in the standards. I returned to class with their books and the flower. As I set the book bin down, I grabbed the flower and went to my desk. I stared in amazement as I held the dandelion up to the light. It looked so beautiful to me. Slightly annoyed at myself for almost ignoring the beauty of such a meaningful symbol in my life, I thanked God for placing that dandelion in our path on that day. He sees flowers in these weeds. As did my 1st grade class. I placed the flower in my vase and began prep work. After specials, our class returned to room 16 where they eagerly awaited the unveiling of the flower (6yr olds do not forget anything!). I showed them the dandelion and said, "This is a dandelion. Some people argue about whether it is a flower or a weed. To me it is a beautiful flower. You can decide what you believe it is." A girl shouted, "Make a wish, make a wish!" I explained to the group what she meant. They were pleased and all agreed that someone should wish on it. I walked around the room and let them all peer at the dandelion. One by one they agreed eagerly that it was in fact, a flower and not a weed. As I finished circling the room they shouted for me to make a wish. I contemplated whether I wanted to or not. I asked a boy whose birthday it was to come to the front of the class. I asked him if he would like to make a birthday wish on the dandelion. He grinned happily. Of course he did. As he blew away the seeds of the flower, every child sat up in amazement. "Woaaaaah!" They clapped for him. I smiled with satisfaction, as did they. We all agreed that this would be a special day.

A day later, the maintainance men mowed the lawn and chopped away all of our beautiful dandelions. We passed by the grass after lunch and discovered the tragedy. Our hearts sank.

As I reflect on this special day, I'm reminded that God places things, people, places, moments in our life that bring us joy. If we will only take the time to notice, stop, and enjoy them. I have been struggling with my new career but moments like that are irreplaceable. I am grateful that I am surrounded by little hearts and minds who notice beauty in even the simplest of weeds.

Phantogram

Digital Sea

An oldie, but a goodie!
Thrice

Things I want to do before I die:
Visit Paris
Live in a small town again
Meet and fall in love with a gentleman
Learn how to play the guitar and banjo
Travel across the United States
Work a job that I love
Volunteer regularly
Record a self written and performed song
Sew something elaborate
Cook and serve a 5 course meal
Learn how to jerk (the dance. My 1st graders claim to know how!)
Go to a broadway play
See SNL live
Go to the ballet
Run in a marathon
See The Avett Bros live in NC
Have a kid and teach them how to be a loving and confident human
Moon someone
Have regular tea parties with a diverse group of ages
Publish a kids book
Share my faith with more people
Love the life I live and live the life I love
Become a Pescatarian
Get a tattoo
Become pen pals with a stranger
Marry "the one"
Go tubing/rafting on the river
Fish
Dance with someone under the stars (I'd settle for lame dance moves. I'm not picky)
Slap the face of danger (This can be accomplished many a way)



Jobs I would love:
Victim's Advocate
Nanny
Tutor
Special needs assistant
Orphanage director
Musician
Mom
Kids show host
Children's author
Museum tour guide
Receptionist (:D)
Family counselor
Hair stylist
Shop owner
Work at a battered women's shelter

Brien's Wedding

Pictures soon...

:(

I hate to add to my own negativity, but today royally sucked.

I won't go into specifics but today was overwhelming, frustrating, emotionally demanding and mainly...physically impossible. My body decided to give up on me and would not allow me to do everything I needed to do. I hate that. It's annoying, frustrating, difficult, embarassing, and it leaves me with one emotion: anger.

My heart and hopes are big. My motivation is strong. I work 110%. My body gives me 50% effort. :(

I feel like hiding away for the rest of my life. Why try anything new when it's physically impossible for me to complete. I want to be better. I'm tired of being sick.

Yuck.

Wolfe,