I wrote down some of the specifics of this in an iPhone note when I woke up this morning. I didn't ever want to forget.
Dream Log
4/19/2014
Wow.
Last night I dreamt vividly of fears that have weighed on my heart for years. The panic of being trapped in these scenarios woke me throughout the night. Made restless and not wanting to fall back to sleep into these nightmares; each time I closed my eyes and drifted away, my mind took me back to a place I didn't want to be. (My dreams betray me. Though, I can distract myself during the day, my thoughts and worries are often made real in my state of rest.) Sadly, I was unable to conquer any of my fears in these dreams.
One by one, these situations played out poorly and I could feel myself losing control, slowly in my sleep. On some level of understanding, I was aware that I was sleeping but I couldn't wake myself up enough to escape my thoughts. I lost myself in my fears at some point in the night and remember feeling scared and sad that I was repeatedly defeated.
Before I woke up for the last time, I recall dreaming that I was standing on a tall mountain away from all of the bad. When I looked down, I could see images of the chaos and fears of my life. However, the sun was beaming on my back so strongly and I could literally feel God with me. I knew that he was real and was really with me. No fears existed on that mountain.
What a special promise.
Sin and fear can creep into your mind, but God's love and peace surpasses all of this if we allow him into our lives. He is all you need. His grace is sufficient for you.
I've been a Christian a long time. Not always a good one. Often a pretty foolish one. I still experience times in my life when I have a really hard time connecting with God. In times when my fears and sin overwhelm me, I don't understand how to talk with God. I push him away. I lose that intimate connection with him, and view him as an entity in the sky.
God, thank you so much for this dream.
Even when I suck at relationships (mainly with you), you love me. Your peace reigned over my thoughts and reminded me that you are great. Your grace covers all of my sin.
No other words are needed.
He is there.
Goodnight friends,
Love you all :)
Tiff
